I made my own for years. Then, bought various unscented detergents for many more years. Only to find that I'd react to some of those or they didn't work well, leaving my clothing dingy.

When I moved in with my parents after my divorce, they thankfully switched to unscented detergents but their clothing had been saturated with tide for years and was perfume bombing the washer and dryer every time they did their laundry. I rolled with it hoping that eventually after washing their clothes enough times the scents would wash out. Over a year later, that hasn't happened, until now.  

If you don't know what QNRT is, click here. 

Up until now, I've taken the gentle approach to QNRT. That means, I let my body decide each time what it wanted to retrain. Often with this approach, you can avoid the negative side effects that can crop up with brain retraining. These could be things like uncomfortable emotions bubbling up, headaches, fatigue, etc. 

And, then, I reached a point over the summer where I didn't feel like playing it safe anymore. I have some huge health hurdles and I wanted to speed up the process by targeting these big issues. So, I decided, fuck it, let's grab QNRT by the low hangers.

​My first target, the most uncomfortable health issue I've ever experienced.

I experience different types of vertigo and dizziness. Sometimes it's my blood sugar, sometimes my vagus nerve. Sometimes it's my inner ear canals (Meniere's) and other times it's hormones or my blood pressure or a food sensitivity (gluten is the worst culprit). I'm sure there are more and I'm not looking to discover them. This one lately is a weird one. I think it's from changes in the weather. My would ears turn red and burn. Then, I would feel a sourness in my stomach and my ears would start to pop. And, then the world would sway and spin around me.

I think I'm about as comfortable as one can get with vertigo. I've had it for over 10 years now but it's still the single most horrible experience, every time. You learn to breath and tell yourself "nothing lasts forever". When vertigo was first hitting me in my early 30's was the first time I truly embraced death. Can you spin if you don't have a body? 

​Some patterns of brain dysfunction are from trauma we've personally experienced and some of it is trans-generational. Meaning, our parents, grandparents, etc handed down this dysfunction. This form of vertigo was gifted to me by my mom's mom, I call her Poon. She's less of a grandma and more of an annoying abusive narcissistic asshole that actively works to create chaos and pain in our family for her own personal enjoyment. Much like my sister, they are cut from the same cloth.

The day following the retraining was my birthday and I spent almost the entire day trying to stave of an aggressive migraine. Unfortunately, this is how things can go when you rush QNRT. Although I had wanted to target my chemical sensitivity next, I shelved it. These fucking migraines had to stop. 

As of writing this, I am 5 weeks vertigo-free. I've had the burning ears and sour belly since but no vertigo manifested. 

If only I had a dollar for every time I've heard that. 

​I've been confused my whole life how other people could: 

And, every year it gets worse. No matter what I try. Nothing helps. In fact, most things seem to make everything worse. And, I've tried A LOT. 

What the hell is going on?

I've been asking myself that question for decades. Yes, decades.