Grabbing QNRT by the Balls

I stopped taking the slow road with QNRT. 

If you don't know what QNRT is, click here. 

Up until now, I've taken the gentle approach to QNRT. That means, I let my body decide each time what it wanted to retrain. Often with this approach, you can avoid the negative side effects that can crop up with brain retraining. These could be things like uncomfortable emotions bubbling up, headaches, fatigue, etc. 

And, then, I reached a point over the summer where I didn't feel like playing it safe anymore. I have some huge health hurdles and I wanted to speed up the process by targeting these big issues. So, I decided, fuck it, let's grab QNRT by the low hangers.

​My first target, the most uncomfortable health issue I've ever experienced.

Fucking vertigo.

I experience different types of vertigo and dizziness. Sometimes it's my blood sugar, sometimes my vagus nerve. Sometimes it's my inner ear canals (Meniere's) and other times it's hormones or my blood pressure or a food sensitivity (gluten is the worst culprit). I'm sure there are more and I'm not looking to discover them. This one lately is a weird one. I think it's from changes in the weather. My would ears turn red and burn. Then, I would feel a sourness in my stomach and my ears would start to pop. And, then the world would sway and spin around me.

I think I'm about as comfortable as one can get with vertigo. I've had it for over 10 years now but it's still the single most horrible experience, every time. You learn to breath and tell yourself "nothing lasts forever". When vertigo was first hitting me in my early 30's was the first time I truly embraced death. Can you spin if you don't have a body? 

​Some patterns of brain dysfunction are from trauma we've personally experienced and some of it is trans-generational. Meaning, our parents, grandparents, etc handed down this dysfunction. This form of vertigo was gifted to me by my mom's mom, I call her Poon. She's less of a grandma and more of an annoying abusive narcissistic asshole that actively works to create chaos and pain in our family for her own personal enjoyment. Much like my sister, they are cut from the same cloth.

The day following the retraining was my birthday and I spent almost the entire day trying to stave of an aggressive migraine. Unfortunately, this is how things can go when you rush QNRT. Although I had wanted to target my chemical sensitivity next, I shelved it. These fucking migraines had to stop. 

As of writing this, I am 5 weeks vertigo-free. I've had the burning ears and sour belly since but no vertigo manifested. 

Up next, migraines.

Migraines have come and gone in my life. Starting at 5 with a dairy allergy. Then, fading away until my mid 30s when the ocular migraines started. They were annoying. It's hard to have a visual job and drive yourself to and from work most days with a moving blob of TV static taking up most of your visual field in one eye. But, I was thankful they weren't painful and they weren't in both eyes. So, I just rolled with it. Six months in I made it to an ocular neurologist that told me my eyes were "perfect". So, I chucked it up to just another lame thing my body was doing. A couple years later, when I was living in Germany is when the real slammers started. And, they've been hitting me ever since. 

​This session led to when I was 35. Right around the time my ocular migraines started. I can't remember the exact phrasing of the emotions but a lot of it when back to be depressed and disappointed with life. A lot of rough feelings from that time. Was working with a lot of assholes. Just spoiled brats that spent less time working and more time accusing me of having crushes on random co-workers. Little did they know that my vagina had fully dried up by this time and I had about as much interest in my male co-workers as I would the idea of having all my teeth pulled out. The Bean Protocol brought my vagina back to life just in case you need help there too...

Anyway, WOW. The peace I felt the 4 days following this reset was a level I had never experienced in my life. Four whole days of a calm limbic system. Four days! It was GLORIOUS. My gut felt AMAZING. Pure bliss. I wish I could live in that state most of the time. 

I'm currently 4 weeks migraine-free.

A circadian speed bump in the road to healing.

My body locked up.

​In QNRT, if your circadian rhythm is off, your body locks up and won't allow any retraining. I knew this was happening because 2 days before the session, I started having a hard time falling asleep again. I really wanted to target my MCS but my body wasn't having it. This session we had to reset my circadian rhythm.

​It turned out to be a trans-generational reset, again. And, the culprit, my grandmother on my mom's side again, Poon. The old crotchety gift that keeps on giving. It was still a great session and I've enjoyed sleeping like a baby since.

​I seem to need these circadian resets once every 6 months. 

Finally MCS was in my crosshairs.

Another week of waiting patiently to tackle this beast and finally it was time. My life has shrunk from chronic illness and multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) has played a huge part in that. I literally became allergic to people. Energetically, I think it's a boundary that manifested because I didn't have healthy boundaries with people. Because of that, I see most people as unsafe. But, since this shit has layers, I was excited to see what would come up in the QNRT session. 

The brain lobe malfunction for this is a rare one, but I've had it crop up before, Pre-Motor Sensory. And, it was tied to repulsion. It was connected to gluten and pesticides and showed age 28. As I searched my brain for what I was up to at 28, it all clicked. The economy had bottomed out. I couldn't land a graphic design job to save my life. After six months of not receiving a single reply from the daily job applications I had filled out, I had to suck it up and work retail again.

I fucking hate working retail jobs. You could say I hate it so much, I'm "repulsed" by it. In fact, I told my doctor during this session that I'd rather starve to death homeless before working retail again. Why you ask? You get treated like garbage and have to deal with people all day, every day. On top of that, the pay is terrible and often management is rude, condescending, and irrational.

This particular job was at Forever 21. I was a visual merchandiser meaning that I opened up A LOT of boxes of clothes sent to us from, what I guessed, were cheap Chinese manufacturers.

​These boxes each had their own unique "flavor" and they STUNK. Each box came with a different chemical smell. It was disgusting. "Hey guys! Another box that smells like barbecue chips and pesticides!" I'd joke with my coworkers. The smells were so bizarre and varied I would come home and tell my parents about it over dinner most nights. Only ever lightly thinking about the consequences of breathing that shit in on a daily basis, I worried more for the workers in the factories that made the clothes. I felt REALLY bad for them.

MCS initially began for me in my early 20's with cigarette smoke. At 25, I noticed my brother's cologne gave me a massive head ache, stuffy nose, and sore throat. When I mentioned that to him he screamed at me defensively that "Madonna wears it!" I didn't understand what Madonna wearing a perfume had to do with my allergy but now I realize he thought I was saying it smelled bad. Which I wasn't, at all. I was just saying it physically hurt me. But, this is common and something I would run into over and over again over the years. People thinking I was telling them they stunk when all I was saying is that the product they applied to their body that filled the shared airspace was causing me severe physical pain. People.

​Two days after the retraining, I had a bizarre experience. Not long after waking up that morning, I started to smell a phantom smell. It was a gross powdery perfume smell. My MCS was even kicking up a bit because of it. And, I knew there was no way this smell was real. I've lived in the same house for almost a year, nothing new had been brought in overnight. For the last year, nothing in the house had that smell. And, then after an hour or so, the smell was gone. Two days later, it came back. This time more brief and later that same day returned briefly again only to not happen since. 

I made it 2 weeks without a reaction. Then, I was perfume bombed at an outdoor winery. Yes, outdoors. That is how much perfume this group of women was wearing. Not even all the air of the outdoors was enough to dissipate it. The winery was quite nice though. They serve delicious grass-fed burgers. 

Next on my list, IBS. 

I'm so tired of being in pain. My gut has hurt for almost as long as I can remember. I just thought that was how it felt to eat food, painful. Now I know better and I want to feel better. 

This session led back to age 27 for me and showed the stress contributing to it just continues on until present time. It's tied to financial security and work. Why am I not surprised?

The whole entire week following this retraining was BRUTAL. This can happen when you move too fast with QNRT. I dug into a deep and long-standing pain. I don't regret it, but what followed was a week of hopeless depression intermixed with crying and insomnia. It was rough. But, like Dr. Hattersley says "If it's that painful releasing, can you imagine how much pain it was causing in your body?" 

My digestion has improved. I always appreciate these small steps forward toward better digestion that QNRT affords me. It's still too soon to know how well and for how long my digestion will improve. But, I'm enjoying the peace in my gut right now.