My Fifth Mitosis on the Bean Protocol

*I'm not a doctor, nutritionist, or any kind of medical professional. None of this is medical advice. Always seek advice from your doctor before changing your diet and/or healing routine. I am just a human sharing my experience with this protocol.

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This is gonna be a long one.

When we last left off I was back in the US to help my parents and feeling strong. Exhausted and stressed but STRONG. I ended up spending a whole month at my parents house running errands, helping my mom get to doctors appointments, walking the dogs, and cleaning the house. Most afternoons, while my mom napped, I sat next to her on the couch. I didn't want to leave her side. I stopped meditating every day and the stress built. I hate that it's hard for me to meditate during the times I need it most. 

My parents are people that never sit during the day.

So, whenever I see either one of them laying down during the day, I get very worried and very stressed. There were many scary days not long after my mom's surgery where she turned gray and couldn't stay awake. My mom had developed an infection from the surgery that knocked her on her butt and ate a hole into the side of her body. We wanted to ask her doctor what was going on and instead her obnoxious and arrogant head nurse told my mom off and then ignored her. I begged my mom to go to the emergency room. She refused. We had to wait until her follow up appointment with the doctor to get help. The doctor's jaw dropped at my mom's state and prescribed her with a long run of antibiotics. The antibiotics kicked in and although my mom had many rough days on them, she was finally getting better. 

A few days before my flight back to Germany, my mom and I went to a gentle yoga class.​​ ​I was on the third day of my period and figured it would be fine. During the class, my mom was keeping up and doing well. I felt a huge amount of relief seeing her getting closer to being back to herself again and her doctor had just told us she was cancer free now, all was looking good.

Then, my body started screaming at me. 

I wasn't doing anything that strenuous but my body was getting angrier and angrier. I felt heat and cramping start in my uterus and the pain and the heat shot up and down my body, I was instantly dizzy, and thought I was going to vomit. I sat down on my mat. The class ended and my mom looked over at me and asked if I felt ok because I had no color in my face. My whole body felt weak, we went home and I spent the day on the couch. I still felt like hell at the end of the day but woke up the next day weak, but better. Two days later I was tired but able to walk around the mall with my parents. Three days after the yoga class I was running around packing, cleaning, and getting ready to fly home. As I was carrying my luggage down the stairs to put in the car, it hit again. This intense muscle weakness shot through my body, loud ringing and fullness in my ears, a weight on my chest made it hard to breath, dizziness hit, and the nausea returned. On the way to the airport, it got worse. I had to request a wheelchair just to get to my gate. All that strength I was so happy to finally have, vanished in an instant. It may sound dramatic (probably only to those without chronic illness) but, I sat in the wheelchair at the airport wondering if this was my new normal. How was I going to survive when I could only walk a few feet before feeling like I was going to collapse? Why is this happening on the bean protocol? Aren't I supposed to be getting better? I didn't want to break down and cry at the airport so I focused on just getting home and told my husband to take me to the hospital or doctor when I arrived. 

I went to the doctor immediately. 

She gave me a chart to log my blood pressure even though she said my blood pressure cuff was probably inaccurate and told me to come back after having bloodwork done. 

My husband and I woke up early the next day to get the bloodwork done early so I could take my thyroid medication after. As we drove into the nearest city to my doctor's office, our car started acting funny.

We were broken down in morning traffic just outside the city.

My husband jumped out and tinkered with the engine some. He was able to get the car to start and we agreed it was best to turn around and try to get home instead of proceeding to the doctor. We couldn't risk Mimi being left home alone for a long period of time. After two more breakdowns, we managed to get home and our car remained broken down for weeks. No bloodwork, no doctor. 

So, I messaged Karen.

She explained that my body needs rest during the times of my cycle when my body is producing hormones. And, if I don't rest my body at those times, it'll flare up with these extreme fatigue episodes.  I've realized now that those times are

1. a few days after my period has started and
2.  during ovulation.

So, for like, half of each month, I need to rest. Not fun. 

The exhaustion spells continue but are not as extreme.

I actually made it through a whole cycle without getting slammed by this overwhelming fatigue but had another flare up recently. I've noticed they worsen with stress. Surprise, surprise! It makes sense, our adrenals use cholesterol to make our sex hormones, that is unless we're stressed, in that case the adrenals produce cortisol (and other stress related hormones) with that cholesterol instead. If my old hormones are always being tossed out via the beans, then my body needs to make new. But, if I'm in a near constant state of stress, that's practically impossible.

So the struggle to relieve stress rears its ugly head again.

I'm on a mission now to restructure my life toward the things that relieve stress. I moved back to the US. So many factors of German life were causing me immense stress. And, with the loss of my grandma and a good family friend to cancer in one day along with my mom's own battle with cancer this year, and some other stressful life events, I've decided it's best to be near my family and back in my home country. It's stressful right now trying to sort out my life again but, I know it will pay off in spades down the road once I'm settled in. 

Overview

• Thyroid remains unchanged
• Period pain has stayed away
• Resilience in now sketchy with extreme episodes of chronic fatigue
• Bloating continues

Thyroid Function

• Still no change 💔I can't wait for the day to get off medication but right now, it looks as though large factors, like my ability to manage stress, continue to get in the way of my thyroid healing. 

MCS

• My resilience remains high but I've noticed eventually my body gets overwhelmed and symptoms reemerge. I've bought more air filters and continue to meditate on a future where I am able to be around scents without a limbic freak out but as with all my health issues, I have better days and then worse days. As long as I continue to improve, I'm happy. 

Skin, Hair, and Nails

• I get small acne breakouts when I can't avoid scents. It's frustrating but when I'm able to isolate in a scent-free environment, my skin clears up and looks vibrant. So, I'll probably have a spotted face for a while as I crash at my parent's house during my transition back to living in the US. 
• My skin still feels like skin!
• I continue to have way less gray hair than before beans. 
• I lost a bunch of hair due to stress but do not have any bald patches! It rebounded and started falling out less after my mom was cleared of cancer. 

Digestion and Poop

• I'm currently only struggling with bloating and I know it's triggered by stress. 
• My food sensitivities have not improved much. I'm guessing this is a stress issue too. 

Mood, Sleep, and Energy

• My mood is actually pretty good even after all the stress, upheaval, and heartbreak this year. I know this is partly thanks to the beans but also Joe Dispenza meditations. Tuning in to New potentials is the shit and I highly recommend doing that one often if you're in a rough place. 
• I sleep great still!
• My energy is sketchy and I'm paranoid often that a fatigue episode is going to hit. It makes me avoid exercise and anything that might strain my body. I hope this all passes soon as it's defeating to feel this way.

Face, Body, and Periods

• My periods continue to be pain-free or almost pain-free. 
• I'm still a more chubby 139lbs. Which really isn't chubby but I still feel so much bigger. Probably due to all the stress bloating. 
• Ovulation flare ups have mellowed out! I still have more symptoms around this time but they've been severely reduced.